I’ve come to an understanding. I’ve known this for a while, but this is me publicly making this known: I’ll never be a big hero. Maybe a little hero that saves someone before being crushed by a giant used tampon, but nothing more. I’ll be another arch-type. I’m the Woody Allen. Nervous, twitchy, smart ass, who is sort o a sidekick that isn’t behind him all the way. Who’ll get hit, but it would never be that bad since I made a decent joke beforehand.

I’ll never stand up with my man tits and crotch pointed at the world with a backlight and my hair being a de-facto cape. I’ll be stealing some limelight on the B-roll telling that the hero has to look for the right area to stand before he makes his big comment to the world. Generally it’s me going and scouting for him, looking for a kid or a really hot woman to hold onto. He’ll get the gorgeous girl(personally she looks a little to done up) and I’ll get her somewhat really naturally attractive when she’s not around friend(she looks almost the same when she gets up in the morning as when she went to bed).

We both have dumb luck, he pushes it and I just try not to think about it. He’s the guy who stands in front of  a group of people exchanging gun fire and I’m under the table with my beer trying to stay out of the way. We begin to get choked up with the waitress gets hurt. Him because he couldn’t save her and me because she dropped that pitcher of beer I ordered.

Of course when it comes to our views on life, he’ll be god and country with the knowledge that his actions will change the world. Mine are more a long the lines that while my benefits are pretty good, I really could use a cost of living increase.

So I’ll never be that big hero. Which is OK… Who wants to be that guy that everyone wants to shoot at.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.