I’ve come to an understanding. I’ve known this for a while, but this is me publicly making this known: I’ll never be a big hero. Maybe a little hero that saves someone before being crushed by a giant used tampon, but nothing more. I’ll be another arch-type. I’m the Woody Allen. Nervous, twitchy, smart ass, …

Back a few years ago, I was a huge coffee drinker. I drank a lot. Which caused me to pee a lot. A lot a lot. So this had an unfortunate response of me dribbling. From a guy who likes to wear khaki colored cargo pants it is unfortunate to see spots on my pants. …